Blah Blah Blah

A Perfect Run

2009-02-16T06:14:00.000-08:00

I left the house before the sun was up this morning with a longish run planned. If I leave here and head towards the downtown area, I will be running almost all downhill. It's not a scenic route, there are many stoplights, lots of traffic, but very few pedestrians, so I can have the sidewalk all to myself, especially at 6am.

One of my shoes felt a little tight and I debated stopping to re-lace it, but decided not to, and I finally just forgot about it. I think it was one of those mental run delays that can go on and on if you let them. Oh - I just realized today (after reading about it in Runner's World) that my Asics have an off-center lacing pattern. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer here.

The route I chose takes me past the college, the psych hospital, two shopping malls, and two coffee shops. I'm not sure why I have never taken cash to stop for coffee at my half way point, but I might start doing that occasionally. I feel like I'm cheating myself if I stop though.

Some days I use my Nike+ sports music tracks on my iPod to do intervals for endurance or speed, but this morning I played HipHop (mostly.) It's mindless music that has a good beat for me and it made the time pass quickly. This is the playlist:

Right Now - Akon
Circus - Britney Spears
American Boy - Estelle
Burnin' Up - Jonas Bros.
All Summer Long - Kid Rock
When I Grow Up - Pussy Cat Dolls
Disturbia - Rhianna
Cinderella Under the Umbrella - Rhianna (and that skank Chris Brown)
Cry for You - September
Corona and Lime - Schwaze
Crank Dat - Soulja Boy
Dangerous - Akon and Kardinal Offishal
Don't Cha - Pussy Cat Dolls
Move Ya Body - Nina Sky
Love Lockdown - Kanye West
Go Hard - DJ Khaled
Wait a Minute - Pussy Cat Dolls
Belly Dancer - Akon
Shut Up and Let Me Go - Ting Tings

I admit to not being able to run the entire hill back home - I took one minute walk breaks when my heart rate got too high, but I think it will only be a few weeks before I can conquer it. I haven't been doing many hills over the winter.

It's a bright sunny day - I feel fantastic - and life is good.

Engine 2 Diet

2009-02-13T04:36:00.000-08:00

Those of you who know me know that I am a practicing vegan with a weight problem. One of my twitter buddies just blogged about a new plant-based diet book written by some firefighters - name - The Engine 2 Diet. You can read more about it here:

http://blog.2big.org/2009/02/engine-2-diet-with-giveaway.html

I'm not keen on any food plan that starts with a 28 day quick start, and I'm not sure that this will convert many meat-eaters, but I'll not pass judgement until the book is released on February 25 and I can have a look for myself.

All I'm sayin' is that it's possible to train and be healthy eating only plants.

Stay tuned for more info.

25 (Boring) Things about me.

2009-02-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

This seems to be the latest trend around the net - come up with 25 things about yourself that other people may not know. I've ruminated on this for a few weeks, and have decided to give it a try.

1. It drives me crazy that I am mentally incapable of controlling my weight. My mind is my only interference - I'm physically doing everything I need to do.

2. I have had totally silver hair since I was 35.

3. I was terrified of high school - even though I hung out with a popular crowd I was always afraid they would find out I was a fraud.

4. I married my first husband for fear of being old and single. (I was 22)

5. I left my first husband because I didn't want my daughter to see me become old and miserable.

6. I would like to go back to school and learn everything there is to know about computers and technology.

7. I have published a book of erotic poems. (Approximate Value of Love)

8. I am a fiercely loyal friend.

9. I am afraid of my brother.

10. I have learned more about my father since he passed at age 52, than I ever knew about him while he was alive.

11. I love all animals and can't ever imagine eating one - although I understand why people do and don't fault them for it.

12. My partner is my best friend and confidante, and I should have found him first.

13. I don't lust after material things and nothing that I own matters to me beyond being convenience.

14. I was a terrible mother (at times) but I'm a fantastic grandparent.

15. I wasted way too many years drinking too much wine and looking for escape in a bottle.

16. I'm a hard worker, and put my all into anything I do.

17. I don't like to cook.

18. If I let myself, I could live on corn chips, candy, and bread.

19. I have run a half marathon, and I will run a marathon before I'm 65.

20. Finding exercise has saved me from sinking into the sewer of depression.

21. I admire my sister and wish I could be more like her.

22. I really enjoy 'connecting' with people online - if were as easy to bring so many interesting people into daily life I would do it - but I think we'll have to wait for time travel to do that.

23. My musical tastes move forward - I hate being stuck in a musical rut.

24. I'm addicted to apples. (hate red delicious - all others fair game)

25. I am constantly trying to improve myself through meditation, exercise, reading, blah blah blah - you get the idea.

That wasn't so difficult. Not sure that any of it is relevant - but there you have it.

A Visit to Seaforth

2009-02-06T03:32:00.000-08:00

I recently spent 4 days with my grandchildren. They live about 60 miles north of here, but at this time of year it might as well be 1000 miles north - the difference in the weather is that extreme.

My daughter and her husband went to Mexico on a well-deserved vacation with my son-in-law's company. I looked forward to having the children to myself to do what we wanted to do with no parental nay-saying - know whatta mean?

The first day was a PD day, but the kids went to daycare as usual, and I wandered around town, thinking about going for a run, and generally wasting time. One of my duties as house-sitter, child visitor and fire-keeper was to trek out to the barn each day and feed and water the dogs. I have never been a fan of having dogs that aren't allowed in the house, but I respect that others don't feel the way I do, so I was happy to do the job. I did it last year - no problems - in fact, the boys came with me each time we went out there, and we had fun doing it.

Things were a bit different this year. We have had more snow this year than in the last 10 years combined. The snow in the field between the house and the barn was up to my knees and sometimes thighs, and what should have been a 5 minute walk, turned into 20. If you think I'm exaggerating - take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Odvx4fsj-9o

The movie was made on the first day while the sun was still out. The wind was wicked and biting cold, and it got worse from there. Friday and Saturday it was snowing so hard I could barely see the barn as I set out, and all my tracks filled in as quickly as I made them. I kept thinking that if I fell and broke a leg nobody would know I was there and nobody would find me. Ok - call me drama queen, but that's how it was - I swear!

Enough whining about that. The boys and I had a wonderful time together. We played games, watched movies, and Noah learned how to rinse the dishes off before they went into the dishwasher. He made it into a science experiment and is looking forward to getting paid for the job.

Hunter heard the words to Barrett's Privateers, and went into hysterics thinking it was about private parts. I've never seen him laugh that hard.

Noah lost his first tooth, and had a visit from the tooth fairy. I'm so happy that she was able to find the tooth without help from his parents. That could have been a disaster.

We ate lots of popcorn, drank lots of fancy hot drinks - hot chocolate, chai tea latte, espresso - thanks Tassimo!

I broke the fireplace fan and had to get it replaced. I bought fireplace logs because I couldn't hack any more wood from the woodpile. I cheated - and I'm proud!

I slipped in the sunroom with a scoop full of cat food and sent it flying all over the room. They'll be sweeping it up until summer.

All in all it was a wonderful time spent with two little boys that I love to bits. I wish I could spend more time with them - but maybe it wouldn't be so special if I could.

Log for January 13/2009

2009-01-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is my self-indulgence day. I'm giving myself one day a week to have pretty much whatever I want - as long as it isn't crap. I love bread, and I love peanut butter, so once a week I'm having peanut butter sammiches!!

First thing - green juice made from celery, cucumber, kale, parsley, apple

Breakfast - steel cut oats with blueberries

Snack - fresh carrot, apple and ginger juice

Lunch - peanut butter/banana sandwich made with 1 tbsp PB, 1 small banana and 2 slices spelt bread

Snack - fresh carrot, apple and ginger juice

Dinner - peanut butter/jam sandwich made with 1 tbsp PB, 2 tbsp low sugar apricot jam and 2 slices spelt bread.

throughout the day - 2 cups soy milk

not much in the way of vegetables, but it's only one day per week.

Log for January 12/09

2009-01-13T02:02:00.000-08:00

Run - 4 miles
Pushups - 50
Crunches - 25 (I'm not trying hard enough)
Stretching - solid 15 minutes
Tibetan Rites http://www.mkprojects.com/pf_TibetanRites.htm

First thing - green juice made from cucumber, celery, kale, apple

Breakfast - pancake made from spelt flour, baking pwdr, and fruit pulp

Snack - fresh grapefruit/pineapple juice

Lunch - kale, grape tomatoes, avocado, onion, chard with hemp oil and lemon juice

Snack - fresh apple, carrot, ginger juice

Dinner - quinoa and chinese vegetable stir-fry, blackberries/raspberries with balsamic vinegar

Throughout the day - 2 cups soy milk, 8 glasses of water, coffee, tea.

I'm getting more sleep, but most of it seems to be in the chair in front of the television. I just can't stay interested in anything long enough to keep awake. My body definitely works on the dark to dark schedule - although I do wake up long before dawn.

On we go...

2009-01-12T07:55:00.000-08:00

My new eating/exercise plan is working well. It's not really new, just something I'm actually sticking to. I'll be posting my food and my workouts here each day to keep myself accountable. I use Fitday software to figure out my caloric intake - it's free online, but I actually bought the software a few years back to use offline, and I think it's very reliable.

Plan for January 11, 2009

Run - 4 miles
Pushups - 50
Crunches - 25

First thing AM - green juice from kale, celery, cucumber and 1 apple

Breakfast - 2 small home-made bran muffins made without oil, sugar or eggs.

Snack - fresh carrot, ginger and apple juice

Lunch - Kale, celery, tomatoes, black-eyed peas, hemp oil, lemon juice, 1 pomengranate

Snack - fresh carrot, ginger and apple juice

Dinner - roasted tofu with squash and brussels sprouts, blueberries

Snack - 1 apple

Throughout the day - 2 cups soy milk.

12 glasses water

Total calories - 1700

I feel that by intensifying the nutrient value of the food I'm eating, I'm not craving more than I should eat. I'm not feeling hungry and my mood is level, which for me is a major coup.

Deep Freeze

2009-01-10T04:48:00.000-08:00

Temperatures in these parts have not been pleasant. Most days start out at -10C or less and rarely go above -8C. The cold wouldn't be so bad, but the accompanying wind makes it very nasty for running. Consequently, I've been spending a lot of time with my treadmill.

I don't like the treadmill - never have, and never will, but it's a useful tool to have. Running is my preferred method for cardio, so I'm glad to have it. I've been cutting back on mileage this month, and aiming for a sustained heart rate most days. I'm thinking that the lower, even rate of movement is a better method for burning fat.

This is the year I WILL get to my goal weight. I thought when I started running the weight would just fall off me, but that hasn't been the case because I've been way over-eating to compensate for the intense hunger I thought I felt from running.

I'm concentrating on nutrient dense foods, and eliminating all the crap. I bought a really good juicer with some Christmas money. I start every day with a glass of fresh green juice, and have a few other combinations throughout the day. I'm using the pulp in vegan pancakes and also in Dexter's food - he loves it.

There are lots of reasons to eat out of boredom at this time of year - weather being the number one culprit - but so far I'm satisfied and even-keeled with mood - even this past week with the full moon upon us.

I'm thinking about signing up for a half marathon in April - it's for both walkers and runners and I might try half and half. I don't want to put myself into the position of becoming obsessive about training again - that's where I fell off the boat before.

Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation.

It's Too Early for a Prediction...

2009-01-05T01:13:00.000-08:00

BUT - this is the 5th day of the new year and I am down 5 1/2 pounds. Judging by the number of times I have to get up during the night to pee - I know most of it is water - but it's a great motivational start.

I have totally cleaned up my diet, and I'm eating the calories required to balance the amount of exercise I'm doing, and I'm spacing the calories throughout the day, rather than loading up at the end of the day.

I have been down this road many times before, and I'm looking on the last year as one of personal indulgence that really didn't do me what bit of good. I get this idea from time to time that I should be able to eat anything I want to - and I probably could, if I would learn the skill of moderation. However, there are some foods that I know I can never eat in moderation - and anything bakery is the major food group I should never touch - even vegan versions.

I'm involved in a pushup challenge that I didn't think would go anywhere - but I'm making small improvements with girlie pushups, and I might eventually be able to do real one. Also doing a situp (crunch) challenge which isn't as difficult.

OH -I'm also organizing other areas of my life. I have a real problem with completing household chores unless there's a real reason to do it, other than the fact that I really do like a tidy enivironment, I just don't like to tidy it. When you have two basic slobs living in the same place, the mess really doesn't bother anyone. I'm changing that.

I bought myself an iPod Touch a while back and it has all kinds of interesting applications for organization. I've become a list maker. I could have been a list maker with paper and pen, but I was never that girl. That's my sister. Electronic lists are a whole 'nother ball game. Give me software to make lists and I'm all over it. Every day I add a few things to my 'to do' list and I check them off as I complete them. Simple - yes. It works. My daughter says it gives the geek in me a reward for accomplishing something. Whatever.

It has been one month since my last blog post...

2009-01-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

And it's time for me to get back on the horse - or the wagon. The month of December was a nightmare for me. I got on a bad roll, and couldn't - or wouldn't - stop. I was almost double-fisting food into my mouth, and all things that I know are bad for me.

I spent a lot of time baking. Bread. More bread. And when that was gone I made more. Monster pretzels, bagels, apple crisp, and bran muffins. All vegan-legal, and perfectly fine in moderation, but moderation is a word I wasn't paying any attention to. I gained nearly 15 pounds in one month.

I'm not going to kid myself into thinking that because I gained it quickly it will come off quickly. It won't. It will be a struggle - the same struggle I've been involved with all of my life. If that wasn't bad enough, I've gained another 15 pounds since the beginning of last year - making me exactly 30 pounds heavier today than I was January 1, 2008. At that time I was within 30 pounds of my goal weight, and now I'm 60 pounds away. I've still managed to keep over 100 pounds off, but it isn't good enough.

I believe my problems started when I started running with Reg. Instead of doing my own runs, I was going with him, and letting him dictate where and how far we would go. In the last month he has done hardly any running, and I've let myself run on the treadmill because it seemed so much easier than going outside. I ran outside for the last two winters in all kinds of weather, and I survived - in fact I felt great! I ran 300 miles more last year than this, and that's not good.

New Year's Day (yesterday) I told Reg I was going out for at least 4 miles. He asked if I wanted company. I said sure. Then he started whining about the route I planned, the distance, and the time it would take. I said - ok buddy - I'm not playing this game with you. If you want to run on my terms, let's go - otherwise I'm going alone. And I did go alone. I felt fantastic when I got back home because I did what I set out to do, and I wasn't led into making excuses for myself.

I love Reg dearly, but I'm afraid he's fired as my running companion. I'll stick to my own plan, and do my own thing, and if he wants to come along occasionally - that's fine with me, but it will be on my terms or it won't happen.

I've pitched all the crap out of the house. I won't be baking bread for a long time. Reg can eat packaged bread, and I know I can't - so that's what will be in the house. I'm cleaning up my act and sticking to the things I know are good for me, give me energy, and will get the freakin' fat moving from my hips again.

I've got myself involved in so many challenges on the net that I'm not sure I can keep up with them all, but I'm sure going to try.

My number one resolution for this year is to be kinder to myself.

Some Thoughts on Twitter

2008-12-01T02:32:00.001-08:00

We have had the internet in our house for 15 years.

I remember having dinner with friends and the conversation rolled around to this thing called Internet. I asked my friend Dan if he had seen it and what he thought of it. He wasn't overly impressed, but thought he might try it for a few months to play around with it. Dan was our Geeky expert back then, and none of us did anything computer related without asking him first.

My daughter came home from her part-time job one evening with a disk (floppy) offering free access to this phenomenon and said her friend at work was raving about it and we had to try it. It was free. What could it hurt?

At that time our computer was an IBM 286 with a hard drive equivalent to a recordable DVD. We used the computer for word processing and that's about it. It ran on DOS.

I called Dan, and he said we would have to upgrade to something called Windows and he would be over to help. He arrived with a stack of 15 or 20 floppies - the Windows system 3.1. It took forever to load onto the computer and when it finished we had virtually no drive space left.

We had to install a modem. I still cringe when I hear the sound of that dial-up connector.

We somehow managed to get connected to the net - but it was awful. Pictures took forever to load, and everything was soooooo sloooooow. I knew we had to upgrade the computer. I knew there was something in this internet thing and I had to know more about it. We upgraded to a 386. That sounds so lame now, but the difference in performance was amazing and my daughter and I were hooked. Hubby not so much. He couldn't see the attraction and didn't think it would last.

Back then, the first thing everybody did was look for a chat room. There were chats for everything - every interest - some good - and some just plain trouble. I was lucky to find an area called WWB or WWA - or something like that. It had chats for every age group and all major countries. I decided to start with the A's and move through all the countries until I got to the end. I never made it past Australia, because there I 'met' a group of people who were so entertaining that I didn't want to leave. All walks of life - all relationship variations - and all ages. It was easy to get caught up and chat for hours - and back then we paid for service by the hour.

The system ran out of money or sponsors and closed after a couple of years, but I still maintain contact with some of those people by e-mail and consider them to be good friends.

What has this got to do with Twitter? I'll tell you. (You knew I would).

Twitter works on the same principal as the old chat rooms, except you have to go out and find friends or be found by them. The Twitter symbol is showing up on web pages all over - all you have to do is follow someone who interests you, or has similar interests and off you go. Short messages are transmitted at any time of day or night - and you don't even have to be online to receive messages.

I see Twitter as informational, fun, intriguing, and at times a major time waster. There is almost always someone online to answer questions, and when you have a myriad of brains to pick you're almost sure to get the answer you're seeking.

Computers have come a long way since the old 286, and so has the way we pass information and learn.

I remember when computers were the size of buildings and info was carried around on punch cards that had to be sorted by monster machines. Everything was in binary code. Ahhh geeeze - I'm waxing nostalgic and getting off topic again.

Twitter is here and I hope it sticks around for a while.

The Agony Continues

2008-11-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

This photo pretty much sums up how I feel about winter - and it isn't even here yet . We have snow that is determined to stick around, icy sidewalks, and more coming this afternoon.

My cold is better, but not gone. I feel semi-ok during the day, but wake up about 2am feeling that if I swallow my life will be over. I have to get out of a toasty bed, make tea, let cats in or out, feed said cats if they're coming in, and generally waking right up.

The tea helps with the cough, and I can usually get back to sleep.

My mother keeps telling me to take some Buckley's Mixture which she swears by. Somebody will have to prove to me that I will die if I don't take it, because I got tricked into it once and I will never go back there again. It tastes like turpentine and looks like sperm on a spoon.

UltraDad mentioned in his podcast this week that he thought he saw an 8 day streak for me on Runner+. I don't remember that streak, but it gave me an idea. I'm going to make an attempt to run 'something' every day until the end of the year. 36 days from start to finish - 2 days down. I have no excuses with the treadmill in the basement and if I find myself starting to hurt I'll back off but I don't think it's going to be a problem.

And by the way UltraDad - I'm SIXTY-TWO - not 65!! It's ok - it was nice to be noticed.

Peace Out.

Rough Start to the Week

2008-11-25T06:35:00.000-08:00

Last week my throat was scratchy and icky - everything was hard to swallow and I was crankier than my usual cranky self.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest - and he refused to budge.

I haven't had a chest cold for a long time but I've sure got one now. My cough would wake the dead and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. I've used all my home-made remedies and even a few commercial ones (which I hate to do), but I think colds have their own time frame and there really isn't anything you can do to speed up the process.

I ran 6 miles yesterday and felt like crap all day and well into the evening, but I feel surprisingly better this morning, so I'll probably do a few miles on the treadmill later - once I know I'm in for the day and can soak in a hot tub afterward.

Kelownagirl is responsible for me not laying down and giving in. She started a 30 day exercise challenge at the beginning of the month - do at least 30 minutes of something every day - and I've come this far into the month that I'll have to be dead before I give up. I suppose there's something to be said for being stubborn.

In the meantime, I'm drinking ginger and lemon tea, whining a lot, and trying to convince Dexter that we don't need to go outside for walks on the icy sidewalk. I wonder if anyone has had any success teaching a dog to walk on a treadmill? I know Cesar Milano (dog whisperer) has, but I mean REAL people.

One month until Christmas - I think I'll put the tree up today - nothing like Christmas lights to bring on a good mood.

Death to Elvis Paneling

2008-10-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

We haven't used our basement rec room for the last ten year - and only sporadically before that. It still has the original paneling that was up when we moved in. We call it Elvis paneling because you see it everywhere...

It's brown and butt ugly. It has to go.

We recently turfed all the furniture out of the room and put in a home gym complete with weights, treadmill, and recombent bike.

There is a lot of 'stuff' stored in the corner that Reg has been keeping for 'something.' I'm slowly moving it out to the curb on trash day - a bit at a time so he won't notice. With any luck he'll never ask about it and I'll be home free.

Now that we have all the equipment, I'd like to brighten up the room with drywall and paint. That means Elvis has to go. If I start campaigning now (read nagging) it might get gone by next summer. I'm not holding my breath because Reg won't see the need for it to go, but I will be keeping my fingers crossed.

Some Improvement in the System

2008-10-25T03:57:00.000-07:00

I admit to having a disturbed week over the 'E' situation. She has been put into what appears to be a very stable environment, where both foster parents are anxious to keep her on a long-term basis (meaning until her own Mom is willing or able to take her back.) Unfortunately, because she is deemed to be a 'transitional' child, she will be removed from this home after a two week period and moved to another place.

I think of my two grandsons, aged 7 and 5, who can both speak and hear, and I wonder how they would react to being put into a home with people they don't know, and then be moved every two weeks because that's what the system says they have to do. Would there be any wonder if they started acting out or became 'troublesome' at school? 'E' can't hear and she doesn't speak. The terror these children must feel is beyond my comprehension.

The one ray of light is that E will be coming back to my bus starting Monday mornining. At least she won't have to deal with a new bus driver. The teachers are happy that I will be driving her - my best hope is that E will be happy to see me and the other two children.

I'm not supposed to let myself become attached to any child that I drive - but it's impossible for me. I don't know how the teachers handle it. God Bless them and somebody PLEASE pay them more!!

This Country's Child Welfare System SUCKS!!

2008-10-22T04:28:00.001-07:00

I'm angry this morning. Very angry.

I'm retired. I'm retired from my regular job of work. However, it doesn't take a long time to realize that doing nothing is not all that it's cracked up to be so I have a couple of 'jobs' that I do to keep busy.

On weekdays I drive special ed children to and from school. This year the 3 children that I drive are profoundly deaf. K is a 12 year old boy who communicates fairly well with me and helps out with the younger children in the van. It makes him happy to help and it makes me happy that he is able to. S is 4. She has had many health problems in her little life, but she's a firecracker and a joy to be around. E is barely 4 - no hearing and VERY little speech. She was removed from her own family by Children's Aid in August and put into foster care. I have no idea why she was removed from her own home. E is a difficult child in that she is always in motion and mostly always screaming in an attempt to communicate. Her foster parents are (were) over 60.

Generally, 4 year old children are not in school all day 5 days a week in Ontario, but the hearing impaired have to be so that they can catch up on communication and social skills. All that time away from home has to be hard on them, and my little girls are usually asleep by the time I get them home.

Yesterday I went to pick my charges up at the usual time. We got S & E loaded into their car seats and buckled in to wait for K to come out of his classroom. Just as we were about to leave a teacher came running out and said E had to be taken off the bus - someone from Children's Aid was coming to pick her up. There were tears in the teacher's eyes as she explained to me that E was too much for the foster parents to handle, so she was being moved to another foster home.

Just like that - two 'too-old-to-handle-a-4 yr old' adults decided to toss this beautiful little girl back into the system where it is unlikely she will ever have any continuity or stability in her life because she is labelled as 'difficult.' She won't be allowed to go back to their home, and her clothes and few possessions will be forwarded.

I wanted to pick her up and give her a big hug and squeeze her with all my might - but I'm not allowed to do that. I am allowed no physical contact with the children because it PROTECTS MY ASS!!! What kind of society have we become?

Repost of Half Marathon Report - 2007

2008-10-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

This is what a 61 year old former 300+ pounder looks like at the end of a Half Marathon.

Exhausted, sweaty, and totally out of her freakin' mind with happiness!! I DID IT.

I had doubts right up until the day before, but my mind settled down and I knew I would finish no matter what. The elements threw me every curve they could think of. It was pouring rain when I woke up at 3:30 am, and it stayed that way pretty much all day. The race was across town, and started at 8 am. I left home at 6:30 to be sure to get a good parking spot. I'm a tad obsessive and I readily admit it.

I picked up my race package the day before, so I was wearing my race specific tech shirt and a matching hat - it's all about style ya know...lol Went to the sign-up tent to find out about a timing chip and was informed that we weren't using chips, they'd just tear the bottom off our race bibs as we crossed the line. Okey dokey. Now I have over an hour to kill in the rain.

The nerves started to get the better of me so I thought I should find a washroom. It was located 1/4 mile from the start line and I should have just stayed there once I arrived because I had to go 5 times in the hour. The good news is that I didn't have to for the entire race. My sister was coming from Toronto to observe, and I kept looking for her, but no luck. The race was about to start and I still had my jacket on, and no place to leave it. I tied the arms around my waist and tucked the loose ends into the arms and got into the lineup - at the back of the pack.

The gun went off and the pack took off and I felt like I was standing still. There was not ONE single person moving at my pace. I'm guessing they were all doing 8 minute miles from the get go. I lost them at the first turn and never saw them again until they were on the return leg. My sister showed up at about mile 2 and I was able to give her my jacket and whine a bit about how I was SO last. She gave me encouragement and joked that maybe somebody ahead would fall and I could catch up. She didn't mean it in a mean way - she was just trying to make me laugh. It worked.

By this time the 5k racers caught up to me and they all passed. I was truly alone. I kept plodding along at my own pace - which was constant at between 13 and 14 minutes per mile. I felt good except for the rain which by now and soaked me to the skin. Blessings on the makers of Body Glide. Without it I think there would have been some serious chafing going on.

I believe I was at about 4.5 miles when the elite front runners came around a corner - to the tune of a police motorcycle siren - on their way back in. I stopped to admire their grace and fluidity as they blew past me. The first 6 miles of the race were all uphill. Some steep parts and some gradual slopes but all uphill. I kept thinking how easy the return route was going to be. Mile 7 was a water stop and when I stopped to drink, both my calf muscles siezed up into knots. You know those really evil charley horses you get in the middle of the night? Just like that but worse. Everything seized from my toes right up to my hip on the right side and just the toes and calf on the left.

I did some stretching and loosened my shoes and started walking. I was able to run for short spurts, but it wasn't looking good for me but I was determined to finish the race. My hands and feet were both really swollen, and I have no idea why. I've done the distance before and never had those problems - in fact I've never had any problems. Too bad they all had to manifest on the same day. The medical team was two guys on bikes that were supposed to stay at the back of the pack. I was so far back by now that one of them stayed with the others, and the other one became my personal escort. He never for one minute stopped encouraging me. I would run for a bit, and then walk for a bit. He asked me if I wanted him to call for help. I told him I would break his walkie talkie and deflate his tires if he even tried it...lol

On the return route, all the water stations were closed and packed up, but they had left 4 cups of water for me at each one. They knew I was coming, they just didn't want to wait any longer in the rain. My sister and grandsons met me at mile 11 for more encouragement. A race official told me to just keep moving and I'd be fine and it wasn't far to the finish. Not far my A$$!! It was another 2.1 miles!!!

I finally made it, and my oldest grandson ran the last 100 meters with me to get me across the finish line. That was the hardest 100 meters I have ever run. When they put the medal around my neck I started to cry. A few people had stayed behind in the rain to cheer me over the finish and that was a wonderful feeling to have people other than family wish me well. The food was packed up, the water was long gone, but I could not have eaten anything anyway. My goal was to finish 13.1 miles in about 3 hours and 15 minutes. I finished in 3 hours and 30 minutes. The last person to cross before me did so in 2 hours and 10 minutes. The winner was 1 hour and 11 minutes. I was definitely in the wrong race - everyone was obviously much more experienced than I. But you know what? I don't care. Not one of those runners enjoyed their race as much as I did. It will never mean more to anybody than it does to me. I got the medal AND I came first in my age category!! HILARIOUS!!

I got a Saucony tech shirt for that but I had to go to the store to pick it up because the prize ceremony was over long before I got there. My husband had an engraved trophy waiting for me at the finish. I will wear my medal until everybody is sick of looking at it or I can't find anybody else to show it to, and then I'll have it framed with my number and hang it on a wall somewhere. I hope I never get used to this feeling. Without the help of my virtual running friends I would never have done this race. I would never have had the fortitude to stick to running all this time.

If you ever think you can't do a half marathon - think of me. You can do it if you believe in yourself and work hard. Oh - and drink lots of water. Running 13.1 miles when you're dehydrated is painful and no fun.

Thanksgiving Sunday Gobbler Gallop and Giblet Jog

2008-10-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

Last year I ran the main race alone and my grandsons Noah and Hunter did the Giblet Jog for little kids. The race is held in a kid-friendly park, and the children run with a giant human dressed as a seal, and every child gets a finishing medal with a ribbon that says - I Jogged for the Food Bank. At the end of my race Noah told me that he wanted to run with me next time because everybody in my race got free water at the end...lol

So - this year I had lots of company in my race. My partner Reg has been running since early spring, and we entered him AND Noah in the main race. Hunter ran in the Giblet Jog and finished very quickly. We had to coax him to go last year, but he's 5 now and a bit more sure of himself. He only agreed to come this year because we told him there would be pizza and ice cream.

Neither Reg or Noah have ever run 5k, and they both started out way too fast for their capabilities, but they got a good lead on the pack before they had so slow down to walk. The pack was almost all Moms or Dads with kids, with the exception of a couple of guys in serious race gear who looked seriously ridiculous trying to outrun families. Some people eh? LOL

At about the half way mark Noah was burned out. He's only 7, and it was a very hot day, and he wasn't dressed for heavy activity. I had to really talk him into taking his ball cap off and walking for a while. He was afraid we were going to be last. When I told him that we had already passed so many people that there was no chance of being last, he relented and walked until we got near the finish line. Hunter saw us approaching and ran onto the road to run across the finish line with us. Hot Dogger Grandpa had already finished.

Noah was happiest to be able to pour a couple of cups of water over his head - and he didn't even have to pay for them! I told him to go and check the prize board, and thank the powers that watch over small boys he run a prize!! He got a Saucony bag with a pair of socks and a t-shirt inside, both of them miles too big for him, but he didn't care. He kept the t-shirt and gave the socks to Grandpa. Pizza, popsicles and ice cream topped off the morning and a fantastic time was had by all.

Watch Noah's video race report here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Lw2JLwKDiA

Tick Tick BOOM!

2008-10-06T03:30:00.001-07:00

I had FANTASTIC run this morning! I left at 5:30am when it's still pitch dark out and took off down the street and around the perimeter of the college. I love that time of day when there are no other pedestrians out (am I a pedestrian even if I'm running?) and traffic is minimal. The downside is that I have to contend with traffic lights - and they are seldom in my favour, but that's ok.

For the last few months I haven't really felt comfortable on my runs. I get them done, but I've had a lot of issues with aches and pains on my left side. Oddly enough, these pains started when I started running with Reg. He usually runs behind me, and he noticed that I tilt my head to the left side almost from take-off. I have no clue why that is, unless my eyes are making some sort of weird adjustment. I got contact lenses last fall so I could actually see while running, because my glasses got too steamed up and I usually ran half blind. I also fell a lot because I couldn't see the cracks in the sidewalk.

I digress.

I was listening to the 4 Feet Running podcast the other day, and Dan mentioned that he tends to over-think his running. A light bulb went off. Reg does that too, and for that reason I don't think he'll ever be a comfortable runner. He's always thinking about what he's doing instead of just doing it. When he told me that I tilt to the left side, I made a conscious effort to straighten up. I was trying to follow the rules of Chi running and stand up straight, pull my belly in, and do a mid-foot strike. Too much 'stuff' for me. I will admit that the mid-sole strike seems to be working, but all the other stuff was just too much.

So...I decided this morning to just go out there and do my own thing and to hell with the rules. According to Mr. Garmin and Nike+ I ran 3.5 miles in 37:20 AND Tiger Woods congratulated me on a fastest mile (since I got the new sensor.) Life does not get better.

Thanks to Dan for reminding me to remember that I got into this sport for FUN, not for technical correctness. Some people might be good Chi runners - but I ain't one of them.

Moving with the Times

2008-10-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation with my mother the other day. She's 82 years old, and still travels all over the world. She went to China last year, a Mediterranean cruise this summer, and she's going to New Zealand in February. She volunteers at the Cancer Clinic, does tours at the Banting House, and works in her church's soup kitchen. I think she has one day a week to herself. I guess my point is - she doesn't let any grass grow under her feet and she isn't a frail, stupid woman.

She will not use a computer or the Internet.

A few years ago, when my sister was living in Thailand, we got her a computer so the two of them could keep in touch easily and frequently. Try as I might, I could not get her to understand how e-mail works. A two year old will sit at a computer and bang away until he figures it out - not my Mum. My frustration level was off the scale most days when she would call for help with a simple task that she just couldn't grasp. I kept telling her she wouldn't break the computer by hitting the wrong key - just DO IT!! Nope. She refused to learn. The minute my sister returned from Thailand, Mum ditched the computer.

So - back to my conversation with her. She plans to go visit my sister and her partner over the Thanksgiving weekend. She will be travelling by train. After spending several frustrating minutes on the telephone with the train company, she was told that she could only get a certain discount if she booked her trip online. "But I don't have a computer." "Well, you could ask someone who has one to do it for you." Simple solution - right? Nope. My mother would rather bitch and complain about how everybody automatically assumes that everybody has the internet than ask me or one of her grandchildren to book the trip for her. That would mean giving up some of her personal freedom (in her eyes.)

I tried to tell her that it was just the same as back in the day when only a few people had telephones. If you didn't have a phone you might have to ask a friend to use theirs. She refuses to see the comparison, and refuses to have anything more to do with 'modern' technology (which she honestly believes in not something anybody needs.)

My husband has much the same attitude to the internet and computers in general. He is able to browse the net to get his crossword puzzles and sports scores - but that's the extent of it. He doesn't have an email address, and is totally baffled by commonly used internet/computer terms. As long as he has me around to sort things out for him he's quite happy to be a mushroom.

Which brings me to my latest fun thing. As long as we have had internet service (probably 10 years or more) I have been fascinated by the fact that I can connect and converse with people from all over the world. In all that time I have never met in reality a single person that I have 'met' online, but I still consider many of them to be true friends. Technology has progressed to the point where it is easier to send a photo or even movie of a life event to someone 10,000 miles away, than it is to walk across the street with it to show a 'flesh' friend.

Podcasts have become one of my favourite forms of entertainment. I listen to people from my personal areas of interest and feel that I'm having a conversation with a friend. When I decided two years ago to teach myself to run - it was a solitary endeavour. I work on weekends, so running clubs are out of the question, and at that time I didn't know anyone else who ran. My family and friends thought I was just plain crazy. When I found Running Podcasts I felt that I had found my 'pack.' People I will never meet - but get to know through their weekly broadcasts about their own running experiences. It really makes me feel that I'm not alone out there.

It came to me one day last week that I could share a little of my running experiences with my online friends by making small movies of my runs and sharing them on YouTube. Here are my first two attempts:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tlwRMV-BrY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZn-wNHJtQk

So there you have it. I'll make another next weekend when we run with the grandchildren. As time goes on and technology advances, quality of the movies should improve. For now - to me - it's still pretty darned amazing.

I shouldn't have skipped chemistry class

2008-09-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

Anybody who knows me will tell you that I have the least analytical, logical, scientific brain anywhere. It just isn't in me. I live in a world of abstracts and airy fairy ideas. Because of this, I have never been a cook.

First off - I'm a vegan. My partner and everybody else I know is carnivore. It doesn't make life difficult for me, but it seems to for them. They think I'm weird, a freak, contrary, argumentative - you get the picture. The truth is, from the time I was 3 years old I have never been able to stomach anything that came from the body of an animal. Not for ethical reasons, but because I just don't like the taste or texture.

Secondly, I've never really grasped the concept of why you can't substitute baking powder for baking soda if you run out of one or the other.

Enough of that.

Recently I decided to really clean up my act and start following a food plan that would be healthy, provide enough calories for me to fuel my running, and not leave me starving by evening. Out of the blue I found "The Thrive Diet" by Brendan Brazier, who is a Canadian Professional Ironman.

There are over 100 recipes in his book, and all of them require that I be familiar with at least a blender and a food processor. I am. Most of the recipes are raw or only very slightly cooked, which I like because it means less effort on my part.

The best thing is - the food is delicious and I have not had ONE night binge in the 3 weeks I've been listenting to Brandon. My weight has started to drop again, I don't have that heavy bloated feeling that I get from eating bread or crackers, and I'm starting to sleep better.

Things you forgot you knew

2008-08-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

Reg and I were watching the Olympics yesterday - high jump specifically. I said - remember when the Fosbury Flop became popular? He looked at me like I had lost my mind. I had to explain to him who Dick Fosbury was, and how he had revoluntionized the sport of high jumping. He thought I was making it up until I showed him on the 'net.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fosbury_Flop

That bit of useless information is almost as good as knowing who Rudd Weatherwax is.

Memory Lane

2008-08-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

I was looking for a particular photo of my eldest grandson when he was a baby and came across my high school grad photo. Thank gawd we weren't forced to wear caps!

I look at this photo and realize only now, at age 62, that I was a beautiful young woman. However, the girl in the picture had zero self-esteem and was programmed from birth to believe she was fat. FAT!! Good grief! What I wouldn't give now to weigh what I weighed then!

My high school gym teacher once told me to 'suck in your gut and get your fat ass out on the track and run.' I hated her, and I hated running. I used every excuse in the book from then on to avoid gym class. Back then, gym was mandatory every year - now students have to take gym for ONE semester.

If there is a point to this little story - it must be to not let external forces dictate what you will become.

Punctuating Piriformis Pain

2008-08-14T04:27:00.000-07:00

I have a nasty piriformis muscle under my left glute (aka butt cheek). It causes extreme discomfort, making it difficult to sit comfortably on bad days.

I have had two sessions with a massage therapist in the last month, and I thought the problem was solved. I hoped that regular stretching (which I don't always do) would keep the muscle loose and it seemed to be working.

Until Tuesday.

Pain is back with a vengeance.

Sooooo...I made another appointment with the RMT - but I can't get in until this evening (Thursday)

Yesterday I got the brilliant idea to sit on a heating pad, and figured direct and strong heat would work best, so I was alternating 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off - watching the Olympics in my underwear. TMI - but it's important.

After an hour of wax on wax off I felt that the heat was getting to be just a bit too intense, so I shut the pad off and stood up. As I did, I felt like something had let go on the left butt cheek. Further exploration revealed that I had produced a blister the size of a loon (Canuck 1 dollar coin) and the skin had just pulled off. OWIE!!

Instead of helping the situation I have delayed any type of therapy in that area for at least a week while it heals. I am SUCH a dufus!! I'll still keep the appointment and have her work on my hamstrings and thigh muscles which are just fine thankyouverramuch.

The good news is that the muscle feels loose while I'm running but it tightens up afterward, so I'm undecided as to whether to keep running or take a week off. At the end of the week I would be a crazy woman and not nice to be around so I think I'll keep on going.

BTW - I may have to draw the line at water polo where Olympic obsession is concerned. I just can't watch men in silly bonnets splash around in a pool.

Obsession

2008-08-10T13:04:00.000-07:00

I am an obsessive-compulsive personality. I readily admit it. When I get an idea in my head I won't let go of it until I can bring it to fruition, or until I exhaust all the possibilities.

I have an Audible.com account. I can buy and download audio books any time I like. I do so frequently, and I enjoy listening to them while walking the dog or just hanging around the house. A few months ago our library started offering audible books for loan via the internet. I haven't figured out the logistics of the service, because there are only so many copies available, and you can only use the file for 2 weeks and then it becomes invalid. That's neither here nor there, it never takes me two weeks to listen to a book.

The stinky part is that the files do not work on Ipod. I've tried every which way I know, and they will not work. Sooooo....

Off I went to buy a cheap mp3 player. Now...the library site lists several players that their files will work with, but I figured I could just get any player that plays wma and mp3. Came home and hooked it up. It doesn't work either. The files will download, but they won't go onto the player so now I'm stuck with another useless (albeit cheap) piece of equipment.

One of these days I will learn...

Suckered Again

2008-07-30T16:59:00.000-07:00

We're going to have to make some changes starting right now. I always try to see the good in people, especially in the kids who work for us. Most of them come from homes that don't have a lot, and it makes me feel good to be able to give them a job so they can earn money for themselves.

Last year I hired 3 siblings - 2 brothers and a sister. The brothers turned out to be very bad eggs - the youngest one was telling people he needed them to buy from him because he needed money for his father's heart surgery. Hello!!!! This is Canada - we don't PAY for health care! Told him not to bother coming back to work. Then the older brother got caught stealing a cell phone out of somebody's truck. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer - cell phones are pretty much traceable or easily cancelled. Fired sibling #2.

The sister worked all last summer and then kind of burned out so she just stopped showing up for work. She called me a month or so ago and asked if she could come back to work and I said sure. Everything was going along just great. She was reliable, hard working, and fun to be around. Also cute as a bug.

Once an order is written up by our crew it takes a while for it to filter down through the system. Today the shit hit the fan in a manner of speaking. 90% of all the orders Amanda wrote up last week are fake. I suspected something was going on when she gave me 7 credit card orders on Sunday - we don't usually get that many. My boss just called me to get me to check on a credit card number from the previous week, and sure enough - it's a fake phone, fake name, fake address.

She's out working with Reg right now - probably writing up more bad business. I have been so proud of her because she has shot to the top of the sales list and was on target to win all the prizes we've got for the end of the summer. I guess anybody can do that if they want to cheat.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I trusted her. I thought she was so different from her brothers. I let her pull the wool right over my eyes.

This is the last straw for me. I will have to get the police involved because I've been taken advantage of one too many times. Maybe if she gets a good scare thrown into her she'll straighten out before she gets into some very serious trouble.

Right now I feel like wringing her neck.

The Torture Chamber

2008-07-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I woke up in excrutiating pain - in the butt. No laughing matter - it hurt to stand, it hurt to walk, it was impossible to run, and it mostly hurt to sit. I knew what the culprit was - the nasty piriformis muscle. It's a tiny little thing that hides under the glutes and when tightened up can press on the sciatic nerve. I knew what it was because I've had this problem before.

I knew it wouldn't go away on its own, so I called around to different massage therapists to try for an immediate appointment. My one stipulation was that the therapist had to be female because I knew this was going to be a bare-butt treatment. It's all very shrouded and all, but I just wanted a woman.

Fortunately I was able to get an appointment with Tamara. Health professionals are all starting to look like children to me - a sure sign of old age setting in. I told her the problem; she got me comfortable, and then proceeded to make me as uncomfortable as she could.

At one point she said, 'my goodness, you really have a high tolerance for pain,' to which I replied - 'oh no I don't, but since I'm paying by the minute I want this to work quickly - no pain breaks.'

After 45 minutes of trying to reach the trigger point with her fingers, her elbow, and probably her knee, the muscle still wouldn't let go. Tamara told me I had had enough for one day and I would have to come back for another treatment. That was Thursday. Friday morning my butt felt like ground chuck and I'm sure it was swollen to twice its size and probably black, although hubby assured me there were no visible bruises. No change on Saturday, but by Sunday it started to feel better. I could actually feel that the muscle had loosened up. I could bend over and touch my toes without pain and the stretches were no longer killing me.

Today I went for another treatment. Half an hour this time, and both of us knew within 10 minutes that the muscle was pliable again. YeeHAW!! What a relief!

I'm going to see Tamara every 4 weeks for a maintenance treatment. With all the running I do, my leg muscles take a lot of abuse and I need to keep this machine of mine finely tuned. *hysterical laughter*

Long Lost Blog

2008-07-27T03:17:00.000-07:00

About the time I started to backslide, I deliberately forgot about this blog. How typical of me - just bury your head in the sand and it will all go away. Hmmm...afraid not. It's time for me to get really serious again about keeping my weight in check, or I will be headed back to fatland and I don't have that many years left to sort it all out...lol

The one thing that keeps me sane and reasonably fit is running - without it I don't even want to imagine where I might be. The days I don't run are the days I have serious binge problems, so the answer seems obvious - get out and run every day! I know the rules - I need rest days, and I do take them, but I try to run 5 times a week. I'll always love distance - I'm so slow I'll never be a 5k racer, but I love participating in that distance.

Time to get serious about another Half Marathon - that was probably the best day of my life, and the training was so much fun. The World Wide Half looks like the only thing available to me at this point, and I'll be doing it alone - and yet I won't be alone because there are thousands (millions) of others doing it at the same time. Training starts now. Stand back and give me room!! Oh - and if you hear me huffing and puffing behind you, you'd best be standing aside, because my eyesight ain't that good and I don't want to knock you over.

Peace - Out.

I finally did it!

2007-03-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

I registered to run in a 5k on Good Friday. I have no doubt I can do the distance - I'm just worried about how long it will take. I think my best mile has been slightly over 11 minutes, so I'm pretty sure I'll get left in the dust, but if I want to run a Half Marathon in September I'm going to have to get some race experience. I'm so used to running early mornings in the dark - it will be a real challenge to run with other people in daylight.

Spring Forward

2007-03-16T06:05:00.000-07:00

I have to believe that Spring is almost here. It was quite warm for a few days last week, but has gone back to sub-zero today. I was really enjoying some serious outdoor runs, but I was forced back to the gym this morning by high winds and cold temps. I don't mind the cold so much, but the wind is wicked.

I'm back on anti-depressants. I can't control the anxiety with exercise any more so I think it's for the best. We're trying a new drug this time around, and so far so good. No serious side effects and I'm not as bingey as I have been since Christmas.

The bus company has changed my route for this semester. I'm not very happy about it because I never got a chance to say goodbye to the boys. I'm carrying booster seats now, which means smaller and younger children and they all have serious behaviour issues.

The days are getting longer and it won't be long before we can start spending time outside. We saw one robin on Monday and now they're all over the place. Bluejays are back and Renee's dog killed two groundhogs and a skunk the other day. Yup - Spring is here. Now if it would just get warm!!

motivational quote of the day

2007-03-16T06:03:00.000-07:00

Winter blahs

2007-02-01T03:25:00.000-08:00

The weather is getting me down. I get outside as often as I can, and I know things in my head will improve immensely once the sun starts shining regularly again. We haven't really had any massive snow since that one big dump back in December, but it's bone-chilling cold and windy most days and I'm just letting it get to me. I started knitting again last week, just to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied. I read, but reading at night is not an option - it just puts me to sleep. I love the bus-driving job, it's a joy to go to work each day, and now I have a brand new Uplander to drive so life is really good in that department. I'm glad they took the Crown Victoria off the road - I never ever felt that it was safe to drive. Hopefully February will flash by and we can get into some warmer weather again. At least the says are getting longer.

Back from Paradise (Cancun)

2007-01-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

It's difficult to get back into a routine after a week in the sun. It's amazing how quickly you adapt to doing nothing. Now is the time for me to get my ass in gear and get serious about losing my excess baggage. When I started running, I started eating more. I guess I thought I could get away with it. As is true of everything with me, I went way overboard and now I have to pay the price. All-inclusive vacations are deadly for people like me because I want to eat everything they have. It's over now, and I'm ready to commit again. My plan is to reach my goal weight of 150 by June. I know I can do it. I WILL do it.

2006-12-25T03:47:00.000-08:00

December has not been a good month for me. It's like something snapped in my head and I couldn't eat enough food to fill me up. I've tried to figure out what the major stressors have been, and I really can't come up with anything concrete. I think the fact that Christmas alone is a big stress given the dysfunctional nature of our family, and how past Christmases have gone, but this year should be different because we all seem to be on an even keel. Mom is not so wound up since I had my 'heart-to-heart' with her, and I think she has finally figured out that whining about the brother is a waste of good air. I don't fall into that trap any longer. I have been very consistent with running, and have committed to running a half marathon in September of next year. I'm following the training plan, and I know the first 17 week cycle won't be perfect, but the second one will be, so I will be ready when September 9, 2007 rolls around. Now is the time for me to re-commit myself to caring about what I'm putting into my body. It's Christmas Day, and there are bound to be temptations around, but I'm hoping that I've put all that behind me again. Depression can be debillitating, and I'm convinced that this time of year with the lack of sunlight hours contributes greatly to mine. Reg and I are leaving in a week for Cancun, so I've signed up for some tanning bed sessions at the gym, not only to get a base tan, but also to get some extra light. It really does make me feel better. So, now Dexter and I are off to the golf course for a nice long run. With luck, Reg will be up by the time we get back and we can open our presents before we leave to pick up Mom and go see those darling grandchildren.

A Big Decision

2006-12-12T08:24:00.000-08:00

I made a decision the other day. I'm going to train for a half-marathon. I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I also know I can do it. Six months ago I couldn't run a block, and now I'm regularly running 5k and more. I'll follow a good plan - no more running every day, but I'll get lots of x-training time in to really ramp up my cardio abilities. I've pick a half that's quite a long way off, but I want to be sure that I can do it and I really need outside runs in the spring to get good. The treadmill is not my friend no matter how much I try to convince myself that it is. I don't mind the eliptical trainer, but I still prefer to be outside. Dexter and I went for a really nice long run around Fanshawe village on Sunday morning - even with the cold it was so much more enjoyable than being in the gym.

2006-11-06T01:52:00.000-08:00

Good grief! I've been a tad lax in adding info here...lol Short attention span and nothing really new to comment on. I'm still plodding along with the weight loss and healthy lifestyle. I have days where it just seems futile, but I get over it fairly quickly. I've had a bad chest cold for the last couple of weeks so my running has definitely taken a back seat, but I'll be back at it this morning now that I'm starting to feel human again. I went to a reunion of a bunch of women that I went to high school with a few days ago. Very interesting to see how we've all changed. I thought I would recognize Lois immediately because she always had such a distinctive look - but I would have easily passed her without a glance if she hadn't approached me first. She is OLD!! I mean - she has really allowed herself to become an old woman. She looks old, she walks old, and she talks old. I told Holly that I plan to never get that kind of mentality no matter how old my body is and she agreed. Irene Frazer and Holly look very much the same, but I didn't recognize Diane either. Everybody told me I look fabulous - they never got to see me in my fat years. I came away from that meeting with a really good sense of self and a strong resolve to keep doing what I've been doing. I don't see the payoff day to day, but it's obviously working. I'm seriously thinking about training for a half marathon. Just thinking.

Problems

2006-09-04T03:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a hair away from entering the 170's and that fear of thin is surfacing again. I took forever to break through 200 for some unknown reason - every time I got close I'd eat my way back up. It's not so bad this time - but it's there so I figure if I put it out there it won't be so scary. I am really liking the way I feel and I'm certainly a lot more stable in my mental state (there are some who would say that's a lie...) but I guess there will always be that idea that nobody really expects much from fat people and I don't want to have to move out from under the radar. I don't know where this summer got to. We didn't enjoy it much - too much work pressure and no time at the lake. Maybe next year.

Fitness Challenge Results

2006-08-22T05:32:00.000-07:00

I joined Fruitarian One's 90 Day Re-invention Challenge on the raw food message board - 90 Days ago. Here are my results:

I started the challenge weighing exactly 200 pounds.
Today I weigh 180.

Neck Measurement - Start = 14" Finish = 14"

Chest - Start - 45" Finish - 43"

Waist - Start - 42.5" Finish - 39"

Hips - Start - 49" Finish - 46.5"

Upper Thigh - Start - 20.5" Finish - 20"

Calf - Start - 15.5" Finish - 14.5"

In the 90 days that we've been doing this I've become a much fitter person, and I've cleaned my diet up to the point where I feel really good about what I'm eating. I kicked salt to the curb which was really difficult for me because I've always been a salt junky. I've had a few slip-ups - eating too many nuts or dates if I've let myself get to the 'beyond hungry' stage, but mostly my diet hs been clean and fresh. When I look at the before and after pictures I don't see a huge difference, but I can feel it in the way my clothes fit. I'd love to be able to ditch the tire around my middle - compared to what it was it certainly has shrunk. I'll probably never be happy with the way I look. The biggest accomplishment I've achieved in the 90 days is teaching myself to run. I'm regularly running 5k at least 6 days a week - some days doing as much as 8k. My goal right now is to be able to run a half marathon. When I achieve that goal the sky will be the limit!

Almost Normal

2006-08-20T03:52:00.000-07:00

That's right folks - I'm beginning to feel like I'm almost normal. People don't look at me like I'm a freak (or invisible) any more. I've noticed that people really don't take you seriously when you're morbidly obese. If you allow yourself to get to such a huge size you must be stupid and not worth talking to. I suppose some of it could be from me coming out of my shell and being a bit more outgoing than I used to be. I know I feel happier.

I'm taking the day off from running - the experts say to rest at least one day a week and I haven't been doing that, so today's the day. I'll be working all day so that will be enough stress on my old bod...LOL

My clothes are all starting to fall off. Time to go to Goodwill for a winter wardrobe - my jeans are all way too baggy and my sweatshirts and sweaters are like dresses. I hate to spend money on new clothes when I know they won't fit so long - so consignment and thrift shops is me for a while. I hope I can ditch the last 30 pounds by December - that's when I go for my physical. I heard from someone the other day that OHIP will pay for skin reduction surgery for anyone who has lost at least 65 pounds. I definitely qualify and I definitely have lots of excess baggage in the belly area. I rarely use the medical system - so they should pay for me just because...LOL

Update

2006-08-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for such a long time! Mostly because nothing ever changes with me - each day is the same as the next...LOL I'm still running, and still losing. Last month I lost 6.5 inches over my entire body but only one pounds. I'll take the inches any day. Running is becoming a real pleasure for me and I'm so happy that I started doing it. I was going to give up gym classes for the summer, but I realized that my muscle tone in my arms is suffering so I went back to BodyPump this morning. It seemed easier to do, and I think that must be because my heart fitness is so much better due to running. I'll take a new comparison picture in the next couple of days to see if any of my changes are noticeable.

test

2006-08-08T13:50:00.000-07:00

haven't been able to post for a couple of day. Let's see if this works.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

2006-07-10T11:07:00.000-07:00

This morning's run was challenging to say the least. About 10 minutes from home the sky opened up and it just poured down. Lots of thunder and some lightening and I really had nowhere to get away from it so I just kept going. I was running through Kiwanis Park to Trafalgar St. and the only other living things I saw were a couple of families of mallards. They were lovin' it! Not the least bit afraid of me either. So I did the 5k and felt great when I finished. It's becoming easier every day. I did a BodyAttack class this morning too and I can't say it's ever going to be a favourite, but it IS building my endurance. I don't huff and puff nearly as much as I did when I started. Oddly - it got rid of the 'pinched' feeling I had in my arm - and we don't do that much with our arms. No complaints here - I'm glad it's gone - it was aggravating.

2006-07-06T06:43:00.000-07:00

The kittens are venturing further and further into the yard each day. When we first got them they wouldn't leave the patio, but now they're all over the lot - especially the woodpile! Whoever coined the phrase 'curiousity killed the cat' knew what they were talking about because these little kits are into everything! We hesitate to leave them outside alone just yet, but I think the day is coming when they'll be out most of the time.

Running is going well, and I seem to have a handle on what works well for food now too. I had a major binge last weekend, but I think I can attribute that to too much exercise, not enough food, and definitely not enough water. I will be more vigilant on the water thing because once I start a binge I seem to be almost powerless to stop. The odd thing is that I didn't gain a boatload of weight so I must have needed the extra calories.

The rebounder continues to be fun and I'm using it a bit every day. It's supposed to do good things for the lymphatic system - not sure how one would know if that's true or not.

We still haven't been to the lake this year. We're heading for the middle of July and we don't have the place open yet. I wanted to go today, but we have to spend time trying to get more staff hired. We've had a bad run lately with hirees who don't stick more than a day or two. Summer used to be easy for getting students but doesn't seem so this year.

Breakthrough

2006-07-01T03:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I met my goal to run 5k by August. Made it by June 30, and it really wasn't that difficult. The total distance was 5.15k (per mapmyrun.com) but .15 was used for warmup and cooldown - so I actually ran (jogged) the entire 5k. My next goal will be to run in an organized 5k race, but that won't happen until at least the fall when I can take a weekend day to do it. Unless I find a weekday run, but I imagine those are few and far between. I wish somebody would organize an 'Aid for Fat Women who want to be Fit' event. The proceeds could go toward gym memberships for women who can't afford it - or can't afford daycare while they work out. Maybe I'll send a note to David Patchell-Evans - he might be up for something like that. Listen to me - I run ONE decent distance and I'm ready to organize events...LOL Maybe I should just wait and see if I can keep this up first. The truth is - I'm really starting to feel good about myself. I haven't felt this way ever, and I'm at a point where I believe I can do whatever I set out to do. I've always been such a quitter. I think I fired the voices in my head once and for all.

My stress level has been off the scale this whole week because my van hasn't been running properly and we were having trouble getting the problem diagnosed. Turned out to be a bad water pump and Rashid the Mechanic finally got everything put back together about 8 last night - after much swearing and bolt twisting and jerry-rigging and tool borrowing and rubber-necking neighbours. Murray is so desperate for me to work over the holiday that he told me to rent a van for the weekend if I need to and he'll pay for it - AND to send him the bill for the repairs. Whatta guy! That beats a box of Toblerone chocolate all to hell. Oh yeah - if anybody wants chocolate bars we have a few cases in our fridge for some scheme Reg and Murray cooked up that fell through.

I'm still not getting on the scale until the Fitness Challenge is over - but I did measure this morning and I've lost 3 inches overall and probably added some lovely muscle to my legs. I hope that translates to a few pounds but the big deal for me is smaller clothes.

34 day fitness challenge comparison

2006-06-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

It's kind of difficult for me to tell if there's a difference in my shape here, because the black shirt is so baggy. I do believe my center is changing - leaning out. Of course I have a long way to go - the Reinvention Fitness Challenge is definitely pushing me to do a bit more each day. It's hard for me to believe that I'm actually enjoying sweating...LOL

2006-06-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to post this picture but if I want to see progress I have to be not afraid to look at it...lol This was taken this morning after I got home from walking/jogging 5k. It took 50 minutes to do and I can honestly say I jogged 90% of the way. The roll around my middle is definitely shrinking - a month ago I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing such a form-fitting shirt. Who did I think I was hiding it from? Note the dopey headphones - I can't exercise with ear buds - they keep falling out and they're a major distraction. Saturday is the day I take my measurements. I'm thinkin' I'll see a lot less of the tape this month.

Joggin' Fool

2006-06-25T02:30:00.000-07:00

Oh man...I am so happy with myself. I think I can actually give myself the title of 'jogger' now. It's really crazy - I can't wait to get out in the morning to go for a run. Yesterday I did 3.87k (as per www.mapmyrun.com) and all except the first 50 meters and last 50 meters was jogging. My heart rate gets up to about 150 and stays there and I can get it up much higher if I push it. My aim is to be able to run 5k by August. I have no doubt that I'll make it. I didn't run as a child - I hated it! This proves to me that I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to!

2006-06-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

I can see the difference one month has done for the shape of my face. Now that I've added cardio intensity I'm liking the way things are shifting around. I don't feel so hungry now either. Not sure why that is. Could it be that I'm FINALLY losing my obsession for food? Please gawd let it be so. Maybe I've finally found the right combination of foods that don't set off my binge meter. I'm eating a lot more fat than I was in the form of flax seed and flax oil - maybe there really is something to the high-fat, medium-protein, lower carb thing. I'm eating lots of balance, but upping the fat and greens seems to be working. I'm having a couple of servings of fruit per day rather than 5 or 6.

2006-06-11T02:58:00.000-07:00

The new exercise program is working! The pants I bought in Thailand 2 years ago, that I was never able to get past my hips are now easy to pull up. If I don't start wearing them they'll be too big! I've also cut way down on the amount of fruit I was eating and upped the protein rich food and added more fat. The fat not only adds calories, but it keeps my blood sugar level so I don't feel hunger as much. I'm determined to see a HUGE difference at the end of the 90 day Challenge.

2006-06-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

Costco day today. We never manage to get out of there without spending $200 even if we only go for a few things. Some day I'd like to go with unlimited funds and just buy whatever I want. I had a most excellent day at the gym today. I started out with a 20 minute jog/walk on the treadmill, trying to push my heartrate up as far as I comfortably could. I'm starting to keep records so I can work at improvement each time. Tomorrow I'll have to jog on the street because I work - but if I get up early enough I can do it. After the jog I did a bit of upper body work - mostly triceps and biceps. My triceps are the problem area and I'm going to concentrate on building strength there. By the time I got to the yoga studio I was soaked, but I timed it to arrive right when the class started so I didn't get cooled off. I never really thought the yoga workout was all that strenuous, but my heart rate stayed up for all of it, so that's gotta be a good thing. I know I've felt less hungry today - and a lot less stressed. I'm cutting back on fruit and upping the amount of greens I'm eating. I think I need more protein and I'm convinced that the fruit is flooding my system with insulan. I'm going to try that plan for a week anyway and see what happens. Sooner or later I'll hook onto something that will get the weight moving again. I *am* starting to see subtle changes in body shape. My upper legs are taking on definition that is really noticeable. My face is also thinning out. Maybe there's hope for the turkey neck - I don't think it's as bad as it once was.

2006-06-07T01:48:00.000-07:00

Puppies. Nothing cuter. It's hard to believe that tiny little Angel produced this litter - but she did it and she's back to her regular shape already two days after birth. The pups have been to the vet to have their tails docked (who decided we need to cosmetically alter dogs???) They look fairly big in the picture but they're actually about the size of mice. Cute as bugs.

Reg picked out the kittens he wants. Two of them are a mix of orange, white, and black - and we think they're females, so those are the two we'll take when they're ready. After all the trouble Sam had with his urinary tract, we don't want any more male cats.

Yesterday was an HIIT day - jogged for most of two miles. I still need a couple of short walk breaks, but it's getting better each time I try. I'm adding weights to the bar for BodyPump and I'm feeling a little sore this morning so I know it's working.

2006-06-06T04:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a struggle. I wanted to eat all day long. I'm not sure what that means. Am I lacking something? Not enough protein? I got through the day without a binge, but food was on my mind all day long. I can tell my head is in a different place this morning because I don't have that anxious feeling. Monday is a fairly light exercise day for me since I've started the Body for Life thing - all I do is weights, and I'm thinking I need to add a long (but not strenuous) walk to my day to keep the 'happy endorphins' flowing. It seems to me that when I don't get enough exercise the 'bingies' try to move in. I started off today with my 20 minute jog and I'm about beside myself with joy because I did the whole 20 minutes jogging!!! My heart rate was between 140 and 150 so that tells me that I'm not really pushing myself by Bill Phillips' standards. I don't jog again until Thursday, so I'll up the speed and see where that gets me. Nothing like a science experiment...

Before Photo - 308+ pounds

2006-06-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

I need to keep looking at this picture to remind myself of how far I've come. Some days it's difficult to keep going but when I see this picture I KNOW I'm never going back!

2006-06-03T03:57:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would ever say that I like jogging. I started last Monday and could barely make it a block without gasping for breath. This morning I did two miles with only two short breaks for walking. I'm SO proud of myself! I used to wonder how Oprah could do it when she was training for the NYC Marathon, because she was still quite heavy at that point. Now I understand. It's all in the technique. You can work on speed later, but get the technique right and it's fairly easy to do. I'M A JOGGIN' FOOL!!! Ok. Maybe I'm just a fool.

2006-05-31T13:28:00.000-07:00

Fruit smoothies are my friend. Put in enough ice and it's almost like eating ice cream. It's a nice way to cool down in this steenkin' heat we're having. A major thunderstorm just went through here. It lasted all of ten minutes and didn't cool things down a bit. We're hearing of tornado warnings - never had one come close to us but they have hit the south end of town before. Today was upper body workout at the gym and I did stick with it through 45 minutes. Some exercises are easier than others and the machines are easier than the free weights. I'd like to be able to do all free weights, but I'm never sure that I'm doing the movements correctly and I'm not going to hire a trainer again. You'd think I'd be able to remember from before - but nope. I can do tri-kickbacks and bicep curls with free weights though. I couldn't stay for yoga this morning - it was haircut day. As always - I like the cut, not the style. Janice never seems to get it right but the cut is always good. Not like I have masses of hair to restyle.

2006-05-30T03:57:00.000-07:00

I had to pick the hottest week of the year to start jogging. Sooooo typical of me. But here's the thing - I'm doing it. Body for Life says to do 20 minutes - I'm at about 16 - only because I can't judge how far I need to go at the speed I'm going to make 20 mintes. I need a new watch. Since I lost my fake Rolex I can't get interested in another watch. I loved that thing! Time to let go methinks. It ain't comin' back. I did 45 minutes of hard weights yesterday at the gym - probably not quite heavy enough - but I'll get those logistics worked out too. I don't want to hurt myself like I did when I was working with Tom - he had me going so big I hurt every day. The thing is - if I been able to keep my diet under control when I was working with him his plan would have worked for me.

Not a good idea to do yoga in the backyard. I thought it would be easy to do the Tibetan Rites outside where it's a bit cooler. Unfortunately, the grass isn't even and my yoga mat wouldn't lay flat - so doing the spins was a real challenge. The grass was also wet from dew...blah blah blah. Just didn't work. Won't be trying it again. Those yoga folk on tv who are always outside communing with nature have obviously got a better setup than I.

Poor Dexter is dying from the heat. He spends his day in front of a fan or downstairs where it's cool. He wants to go out when I do - but he just can't stand it. Reg went to a ballgame in Toronto last night - took the train. I took Dex with me on both trips to the train station just so he could get some a/c relief. I doubt that we'll ever install a/c in the house. The fans are fine and it really isn't environmentally friendly. That's what I keep telling myself at any rate.

Weekend

2006-05-29T04:11:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. It was like August for heat. 27C Saturday and 33C Sunday - add the humidity and we were baked! Sometimes I wish I didn't work weekends, but I think the fact that I do makes me appreciate Monday more. It'll be hot again today, but it was so nice to go into the yard this morning and know that I could just sit there and not have to rush off somewhere. I was really feeling the stress on the weekend and as a consequence I made some bad food choices. I haven't been eating enough the last couple of weeks. My weight hasn't shifted at all - I'm doing more exercise and body finally had enough and told me to eat or else! I don't think it was telling me to overdose on watermelon and cacao/walnut fudge though. The raw food forum fitness challenge is for a 90 day period. I'm going to use those 90 days to step up my lifting program using Bill Phillips' Body for Life Plan. I know I'm not lifting heavy enough, and I've been telling myself that BodyPump is good enough. It really isn't. It's nice aerobic exercise but it doesn't cause any real muscle growth. So this morning I got out and did a 20 minute walk/jog/powerwalk/jog/walk trip - couldn't believe how far I can actually jog. Phillips says it's not how long you go - it's how hard you push yourself. I was PUSHING baby!! I'm determined to get this last poundage off. The first 100 pounds were relatively easy - I'm going to have to really work to make the rest come off.

Cats (Kittens)

2006-05-27T04:22:00.000-07:00

Renee's cat had kittens last week. How I ever raised a child to be so irresponsible with animals as to not have them neutered is beyond me - but facts are facts and Yugi has babies. Of course Reg wants one. He misses our cats something awful, and there really isn't any reason why he can't have one. After all, I'm not the boss...LOL I suggested that since we are away at the lake so much in the summer he should get two - so they can keep each other company. We tried travelling Sam and Rachael to the lake for years and they just hated it, so I think they're better off left at home. It's not like we're gone for weeks - just two days usually. Dexter will hate the competition, but he'll be fine. He always got along with the other cats, although he did make Rachael's life miserable teasing her. So...in another 6 weeks or so we'll be welcoming two new creatures into our family. I'm hoping we can get a couple of females. Suggestions for names welcomed - although I don't think naming is necessarily a good thing until you've lived with them for a while.

Raw Food Fitness Challenge

2006-05-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

This is a picture taken today that I'll use for my Fitness Challenge 'before' photo. I hope in 90 days I'm able to see a change in those arms! Oh yeah - and I wouldn't mind if the turkey neck were to disappear too. Today was the first day that I actually felt my triceps working during BodyPump - I think I finally got the form right. I'm pretty sure that's how I injured my shoulder - too much weight and wrong technique. It's good now - no more pain.

2006-05-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing my pedometer everywhere again. I think the 10,000 step thing is good for me, and it has to be good for Dexter too. I'm finding that he has to get all his exercise in the morning. When I took him out for a walk last night it was like I was dragging him to his death. He's good for the first block and then he wants to lay down...he hates being over-heated. So - it's mornings for him from now until fall.

The fitness challenge has me pumped (lol) and I added about half an hour of free weights yesterday before my BodyFlow class. Have I become obsessed with exercise again? I don't know - I'm looking at it as self-improvement and all for the good. Most days I feel like the weight will never come off and I will never be fit - at the same time I feel myself getting stronger every day. Nick brought over a picture of Reg and I from his birthday party last August. I was 30 pounds heavier and I look like an 80 year old woman! I have to face reality. I DO look old. Good for me that I feel like 20 on the inside.

Tibetan Rites. Read about it on the raw food forum and did some research last night. Looks like something I need to be doing each morning. I tried it last night before fully reading the instructions and I tried to do each posture 21 times from the get go. That is SO like me! Dive in full tilt before looking for rocks. I'm about to do it again this morning - but this time I'll take it slow and build up.

It's looking like rain today which is probably a good thing. I fell asleep in the sun in the backyard yesterday and got one side of my face toasted. I love the sun. I love the way it makes me feel. It's really hard to be depressed when the sun is out.

2006-05-24T03:08:00.000-07:00

I joined a 90 day fitness challenge recently that I plan to totally participate in. I've done this before - and given up long before the end, but I feel I'm in the right mindset now to give it my all. Dexter is happy because we're going for longer walks, and I'm getting a lot more books listened to on my mp3 player, so it's all good. I added weight to my bar in BodyPump yesterday - I was becoming a bit complacent with the amount I was using and the routine was becoming too easy. I need to stay away from the 'exercise ladies' because they're happy to go with really light weights and get through the hour without breaking a sweat. I moved my equipment to the other side of the room and went for the burn! I was soaked with sweat at the end of the hour, but I felt SO good. The best part of a gym workout for me is the sauna afterward. I take my audio book and sit for at least 15 minutes. I drink a litre of water while I'm blissing out...lol My food choices are better on days when I get intense about exercise - I'm not tempted to eat a lot of nuts or seeds. I've cut way back on oil too - I realize I was using way too much.

2006-05-22T03:49:00.000-07:00

This photo reflects a loss of 110 pounds. Full body shot to come later. Somebody told me the other day that I look like I'm wearing a fat suit in my 'before' picture. That's how I felt too!

Blah Blah Blah

2006-03-03T12:58:00.000-08:00